Scene 1: Wednesday night around 5:30pm after dropping Deuce off at Grandma Claire’s house. The weather is miserable and it is dark out. Mommy (me) is driving the MazdaCar while Dictator is jabbering to me from the backseat. We are on our way to a special Mommy/Dictator only dinner and then off to pre-school registration.
Dictator: Can I see a big yellow dog?
Mommy: If I see a big yellow dog I will point it out to you.
Dictator: Can I see a big black dog?
Mommy: If I see a big black dog Mommy can point it out to you.
Dictator: I never seen a blue dog before.
Mommy: No peanut, Mommy has never seen a blue dog before either.
Dictator: Dictator wants to see a blue dog.
Mommy: If I ever see a blue dog I will let you know OK?
Scene 2: Thursday 8:30am Mommy is in the shower, Deuce is dozing peacefully in the swing after her morning feeding and Dictator is busy playing trucks on the main floor. We are getting ready to meet a friend and do some shopping for the morning.
Dictator enters Mommy’s master bathroom.
Dictator: Dictator has never seen a blue dog before.
Mommy: Neither have I buddy (continue scrubbing shampoo in to head)
Dictator: Dictator has seen a purple dog.
Mommy thinks anything is possible with TV now at days and thinks nothing of it.
Mommy: Really? Where have you seen a purple dog?
Dictator: Dictator seen a red one too.
Mommy: That’s nice dear, are they on TV right now?
Dictator: No they are on Paprika! LOOK IT HERE!!!!! WHATS GOING ON HERE???!!! (because he says ‘whats going on here’ all the time this week)
- My son didn’t care if he ever saw a blue dog, purple and red would do.
- He obviously thought Mommy’s red toenails are pretty since he drew some on the dog.
- Crayola washable markers may not come out of your dogs hair with just water – BUT a phone call to the lovely people at Crayola will tell you that copious amounts dish-soap will do wonders in this situation.
- Given the speed of response from the Crayola staff they OBVIOUSLY had this question a number of times before.
- The dude at Crayola laughed when he heard the dog was white (originally; before the art experiment) and thought that it was an inviting blank canvas for a child to work on.
- Paprika is obviously a patient (and NICE) dog to sit through the amount of coloring that was done in the 5 minutes I had been in the shower.
- My son may have a future as a hairdresser given the nicely spaced out hi-lights that the dog was given. And because he loves shoes and purses…
- I am an idiot for not taking a real photo before washing the dog.
- My dog now smells like Palmolive soap – original formulation.
I have not taken the markers out of reach because they are so totally washable, and I just can’t make material like this up so I need to let my 2 year old be the funny one.