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Archive for the ‘Lets get real people’ Category

There is not enough room down there for anything anymore.

Today while sitting in bed doing some reading I peed. The Bed. I didn’t laugh or cough or sneeze, I was just reading some poorly written chick lit. And I peed. Initially I thought that maybe, just maybe my water had broken (because I don’t actually know what that is like since I was induced for The Dictators birth)  and that would just figure since Stewart was away at work at the time.

Thankfully just the duvet and cover got wet (and it wasn’t much) – but seriously folks I am 32 years old, you would think I would understand when to go to the damn bathroom already.

I need to get back to my regularly scheduled program of wiping ass and kicking the laundry pile (which is now bigger due to a king size goose down duvet and cover).

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I am as blind as a bat.

I am also somewhat cheap.

Each year I need to have the prescription updated in my glasses or I face the wrath of constant headaches and nausea. The problem with this is the outright expense and the fact that I get sick of my glasses after a year and want new frames. Usually this costs me $400 – $500 a shot with all the scratch and UV coatings added in. I do not necessarily purchase designer frames nor do I go to a ridiculous ’boutique’ optical store – so really my cost is quite normal.

Now that we have The Dictator and The Deuce is fast approaching I have come to realize that children are very hard on my glasses. They are always dirty from sticky little hands and more then once I have outright thrown an old pair out because someone broke them. I have also always wanted prescription sunglasses (because I break the clip-on or lose them almost immediately) but the cost of such an item has been prohibitive.

I have been looking online for a while at glasses, and one day Googled Cheap Prescription Eyeglasses and was taken to at least 6 different sites offering wicked deals on glasses. After doing some research online and reading reviews I decided to go with Zenni Optical for my first foray into the cheap eyeglasses world.

Zenni Optical is a company that is registered in the USA, but your glasses will come from Hong Kong. This made me a little nervous at first but the overall reviews were favorable so I decided to go for it and order 3 pairs of glasses.

I have always wanted a completely rimless frame but with my high prescription I needed to upgrade to such a high index lens that they just were not a financially viable option (considering I may hate them). At Zenni Optical you can pick the color of the metal and the actual lens shape and size, the ones below are the exact ones I purchased. They showed up with beautifully polished lenses and my prescription was bang-on. Maybe even better then what I got for $500 here in Hickville City. I like them, but I am pleased I never paid $800 here for them, because they really are not worth it.

Rimless Frames with Upgraded Super High Index Lens/UVA and UVB coatings/ Anti Scratch $40.95

Next I picked something a little more sassy then I would normally choose, since they have almost a full frame on them I decided to go for the regular lenses. I am very very pleased with these glasses.

Burgundy fashion frame with regular lenses with UVA and UVB coatings/ Anti Scratch $34.95

Finally I picked a funky frame to turn into sunglasses (upgrading to sunglasses lenses is under $8 extra, unlike other places who want to charge a $150 for tinting on top of the prescription). These are great and I love them, but next time I will choose a larger frame for sunglasses to get more coverage.

Prescription Sunglasses with regular lenses and with 80% Grey tint and scratch coating $35.85

In every pair my prescription was bang on and the quality of the lenses seemed perfectly fine to me. The lenses were all nicely polished on the outside edges (note my last pair of $500 glasses did not polish the lens edge leaving them looking dull and cheap – a big deal if you have coke bottle lenses like me). They were well assembled and all fit pretty well right out of the box with minimal tinkering.

A few tips if you do go this route:

  • Get a copy of your prescription from the eye doctor. By law they have to give it to you. Maybe go for a whole new eye exam and start fresh.
  • Make them also measure your pupillary distance and give you those values. Often they will try to tell you whoever sells you your glasses will do it for you but I told them I needed them to order custom made goggles through work.
  • Have some patience. It took a week to get my glasses made and then another 1.5 weeks to get to Canada. I have heard of much longer time-lines, but at under $40 a pair I was OK with waiting.
  • Take a good look at your glasses. Measure the width, lens height, temple arm length and bridge so you get an idea of what will fit similar online. I also took into account that I am usually drawn to rectangular glasses with the hinges close to the top and not in the middle. These things all come into play when choosing a frame online.
  • Don’t be too set on the color that appears on your monitor; it will likely be a bit different when you get them since not all computer display colors the same.
  • If you are squeemish depending on online glasses initially, remember they are cheap online and maybe try ordering your “backup” pair or get some sunglasses to see how it all goes.
  • They have children’s frames too, and you know how expensive those can be and how often they need replacing.

Also keep in mind: Total invoice including shipping, eyeglasses cases and nice microfibre cleaning cloths for each pair: $118.65 (American funds). For. Three. Pairs. Of. Glasses

Totally worth it.

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In the last week I have spent 3 nights in Las Vegas with my Mom and Stewart on a “Girls Only but Stewart Can Come too Shopping Holiday”. Although it was a real treat to get away I do have a little ranting and raving to do about the holiday.

United Airlines/Ted has to be the second worst carrier I have ever flown (Worst? America West! Hands down biggest goat-fucks ever!). Although the staff in Hickville City and Denver were fine (totally excellent in Denver) and Flight Crews were great;  the airline staff in Las Vegas had to be the slowest, laziest and worst we have ever encountered (funny how my issue with America West was Las Vegas based…. hmmmm).

The Las Vegas ticket agent was likely the slowest person I have met in my life. It played out like this:

Scene: get to the counter and produce the online printed tickets for 3 people – 2 flights each; so 6 tickets total. Nita puts her suitcase (which is the largest of all 3 suitcases) on the weigh-scale.

Ticket agent takes tickets and decides that the tickets need to be ripped apart from the paper they were printed on so that they will be standard ticket size. One by one he fold the paper 8 times slowly over and over to create a crease to rip on. He then picks the paper UP and rips it – not smart enough to hold the damn ticket against the counter after folding one time and RIP…… seriously it took close to 10 minutes for him to shoddily rip 6 pieces of paper. In the meantime for the full 10 minutes my suitcase is on the scale and he is looking at it.

ticket agent: Your bag is too heavy. 58 pounds the limit is 50 pounds.

Nita: the other two bags are way underweight – can’t we just call it even?

ticket agent: Nope

Nita: how much to add the 8 pounds?

ticket agent: $100

Nita falls over throwing a fit (not really).

ticket agent: Just put 8 pounds of stuff in your Moms bag then it is all even. (like my Mom wants my dirty panties in her bag – yuck).

The fucker agent made me take the bag off the scale to transfer the items (previously the airlines would let you pull out the 8 pounds and transfer it instead of guessing like we did) and put them in my Mom’s bag. So once we guessed mine down to 50 pounds he tossed it on the convayer belt without even letting me lock the damn thing up. There was a 700$ purse in there with no lock on it! Ugh.

Now, I totally understand the weight restrictions (my father busted his back as a baggage guy all his life) but seriously this was a medium suitcase (not large) with nothing heavy in it. Way too many airlines have dropped the 75 pound baggage down to 50 pounds (YAY WestJet – still 60 pounds). What really irked me is he kicked us out of line so he could help other people. Hey asshole? You spent 10 minutes ripping 6 tickets – I don’t think customer service is your forte, so quit faking it. Oh and you could of told me that the bag was overweight since it sat on your scale for 10 minutes while you ripped the 6 tickets.

We finally get to the gate to see out flight is delayed 30 minutes. Not too big of a deal but we have under an hour in Denver to make our connection to HickVille City – and the ground crews in Denver are not exactly known for getting your plane to the gate on time either. It is already starting to look like we will miss our connecting flight.

Stewart (being an Air Traffic Controller) stands in line for the gate agent to find out what is going on and if we can rebook out connecting flight for a later time that night (or the next morning). After standing behind another customer (who is slightly stupid, fakes not knowing English and is rude as well) from HickVille City who needs to get the same flight info; the staff gets fed up with him and closes the wicket right in front of Stewart. During this time Stewart hears them blaming the delays on Air Traffic Control. This royally pisses Stewart off since he knows better. ATC does not delay aircraft; over-scheduled Airlines in over-scheduled Airports cause flight delays. By blaming delays on Air Traffic Control airlines do not have to be responsible for providing you compensation (or hotels overnight) if your flight is screwed up. Convenient hey?

Finally we board the plane. I am sitting in row 12. The cabinet that houses the drop down oxygen mask over my head has opened and the man beside me is trying to close it. We all know that this will cause further delays if a flight attendant notices it. They notice it. Now we have a mechanical delay (25 minutes) which now makes the airline liable for our hotels in Denver that night. Small YAY!

A mechanic shows up with no tools to fix it, and we joke with him to duct tape it closed. He says he can not do that and goes to get “clearance” to do a repair. Guess what the repair was? Tape. Didn’t stick but whatever – I got moved to upgraded seating. After that we sat on the runway for some time for the “paperwork” to show up so the plane can take off.

When we got to Denver we electronically got our tickets for the next flight that was available (the next morning) and headed to United Customer Service to see what if any compensation was being offered for the night.

The staff was awesome and pretty organized considering almost 100 people missed their connections. We were sent to a pretty nice hotel in Denver and given vouchers for breakfast the next morning. Since we would not get our luggage back (it was going to take 4 hours to get it) they provided toiletry kits with everything you need to not smell funky the next day. Needless to say we had to sleep naked that night (which seriously I do not do naked) but overall it was pretty good (except for the pussy ass cab driver to the hotel).

So what did I learn?

  • Flying out of Las Vegas on any American airline is a gong show.
  • Denver seems to be a nice city – I think Stewart and I will do a mini holiday there soon.
  • Flying when pregnant and still fighting morning sickness = not too fun.
  • I need to wear more comfortable shoes in Vegas.

Next Post: about the shoes…..

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American Apparel.

I applaud your company’s employment standards. Paying a living wage in L.A. (as well as having a meal subsidy program for your staff) and having Americans make your clothing and not farming the work out to China is awesome.

I love your sustainable edition (organic) line for my son. They are delicate and soft, yet stand up to multiple washings.

I enjoy going to your stores, which are well stocked. When I walk in I am awed by the array of colors and amazed by the brightness and cleanliness of the store. The staff is always fantastic. I find your retro-kitch aesthetic approach to clothing refreshing.

I do not however enjoy purchasing pants made of the cheapest feeling cotton available (yet I do because buying a North American made product makes me feel better about stuff) and promptly having the hems on them fall apart after 2 washings. Jersey – my ass. These lose their shape, twist, shrink, and fall apart much too quickly; even for $35.

I also do not enjoy visiting your website and the two times I refresh the main pages this is what I see:

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Now I know I am getting a little older and more conservative but these also are not shorts:

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I thought they were underwear until I read the description.

I know sex sells.

I would however like to go to a site to look for kids items and not be assaulted by photos of people who are barely clothed and appear filthy and stoned in most photos. Frankly it makes me feel like I should go take another bath.

Gross.

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After my interview from Sheila, I received a couple emails asking me about my breast reduction surgery which I touched on very very briefly in the interview. Two emails were from women who desired to have this same procedure done, one from a woman who wanted to know how I came to such a decision and two more (from a woman and a man) who basically pissed on me for having the nerve to cut off my boobs and called me vain and lazy. Trust me. If you saw the size of my ass you would not think I am vain. I figured now was as good of a time as any to address this issue and some common boob myths.

I have been large chested since I was 15 years old, maybe even younger. I swear one day in 9th grade I woke up and realized that doing laps in Gym class was going to be a real painful experience. And it was.  By the time I graduated High School I was 115 pounds and should have been wearing a DD bra (but I totally squished myself into C/D cups).

This leads me to Myth #1: Boobs are large because you are fat. Not so. 115bs and 5’4″ tall wearing a size 4 is not fat. My boobs though were really big.

For a couple of years I buggered around doing odd jobs trying to decide what I wanted from my life. At one company in particular I was repeatedly hassled by a white-trash poorly dressed head cashier and a dumb ass store manager about the size of my chest. Although I always dressed professionally (as in suits, dress pants or dresses) the fact is when you are in an E cup bra there is no hiding them puppies. The assholes thought that I should go to a men’s store and buy a sport jacket to wear over my suits and company supplied shirts so no one would see how large my breasts were.

I finally threatened them with harassment charges for hassling me about my breasts – and was promptly transferred to another store (where I started dating Stewart). The manager at the new store had heard of my problems with the previous store (the other manger who transferred me had implied I was a slut to the new boss – because you know girls with big boobs are easy right? ugh.) and dealt with it head on. He had no problem with my chest size and also stated I was more then appropriately dressed to work in his store and that the other guy was lucky I never pressed charges.

Here is Myth #2: Women with big breasts enjoy the attention. Most naturally large chested women I know go through great pains to minimize the appearance of their breasts and we all hate it when people stare at our chests while talking to us. It is embarrassing and awkward. 

My first year at post-secondary school should have been exciting and rewarding. I chose a field where women did not traditionally work (Electronic Engineering) because I loved that kind of stuff. A week into my program I was approached by one of my instructor’s and told that I was lucky I was cute and had a large chest because it would ensure I passed the program and find a job in the field. That just about sealed it for me. I spent a day in tears and then marched my ass to my family Doctor for a referral to a Plastic Surgeon. My Doctor said he had wondered for a few years why I hadn’t asked to have the surgery done.

Want Myth #3? Women with large chests are air-heads or dumb. I applied to post secondary school with a 98% in Physics, a 95% in Math and a 90% in English. When I graduated I was within 2% of the top of my class over all (technically in the top 3 people), was the ONLY person to get over an 80% in every class offered in our program and scored a perfect grade in 3rd year University calculus. I am not dumb. Neither are 99% of the people with large boobs. The sweet payback is that I ended up making $30,000 a year more then that instructor.

Finally Myth #4: Women who have breast reductions do it for vanity reasons. Ab-so-fucking-lutely that was 40% of the draw for me.

The other 60%? I had x-rays showing the bones in my shoulder compressing from the weight of my bras. Migraine headaches were a daily battle. The back pain was never ending. I was spending 200$ on a single bra because my personal boob alphabet was approaching J-K-L. Fun letters I tell you! I never owned a shirt with buttons and bought shirts at the plus size store (and had them altered smaller) because they covered my chest. Regular shirts were never long enough because the size of my boobs would totally alter the length of the shirt, leaving it creeping up my front. I could NOT find a bathing suit to properly fit them into unless I wanted to look like a porn star. Finally, I was sick of people not knowing my name and being referred to as “the one with the big tits”.

It is a decision I never regretted and I would do it again in a second. It improved my physical health, my confidence and probably improved the way that people (who do not know me) look at me. I no longer fall under the “big boobs = stupid” umbrella and can buy different clothing. Best 12 pounds I ever got rid of.

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