Archive for the ‘Paprika – Worlds greatest dog.’ Category

Scene 1: Wednesday night around 5:30pm after dropping Deuce off at Grandma Claire’s house. The weather is miserable and it is dark out. Mommy (me) is driving the MazdaCar while Dictator is jabbering to me from the backseat. We are on our way to a special Mommy/Dictator only dinner and then off to pre-school registration.

Dictator: Can I see a big yellow dog?

Mommy: If I see a big yellow dog I will point it out to you.

Dictator: Can I see a big black dog?

Mommy: If I see a big black dog Mommy can point it out to you.

Dictator: I never seen a blue dog before.

Mommy: No peanut, Mommy has never seen a blue dog before either.

Dictator: Dictator wants to see a blue dog.

Mommy: If I ever see a blue dog I will let you know OK?

Scene 2: Thursday 8:30am Mommy is in the shower, Deuce is dozing peacefully in the swing after her morning feeding and Dictator is busy playing trucks on the main floor. We are getting ready to meet a friend and do some shopping for the morning.

Dictator enters Mommy’s master bathroom.

Dictator: Dictator has never seen a blue dog before.

Mommy: Neither have I buddy (continue scrubbing shampoo in to head)

Dictator: Dictator has seen a purple dog.

Mommy thinks anything is possible with TV now at days and thinks nothing of it.

Mommy: Really? Where have you seen a purple dog?

Dictator: Dictator seen a red one too.

Mommy: That’s nice dear, are they on TV right now?

Dictator: No they are on Paprika!  LOOK IT HERE!!!!! WHATS GOING ON HERE???!!! (because he says ‘whats going on here’ all the time this week)


Artistic rendition of painted dog.


  • My son didn’t care if he ever saw a blue dog, purple and red would do.
  • He obviously thought Mommy’s red toenails are pretty since he drew some on the dog.
  • Crayola washable markers may not come out of your dogs hair with just water – BUT a phone call to the lovely people at Crayola will tell you that copious amounts dish-soap will do wonders in this situation.
  • Given the speed of response from the Crayola staff they OBVIOUSLY had this question a number of times before.
  • The dude at Crayola laughed when he heard the dog was white (originally;  before the art experiment) and thought that it was an inviting blank canvas for a child to work on.
  • Paprika is obviously a patient (and NICE) dog to sit through the amount of coloring that was done in the 5 minutes I had been in the shower.
  • My son may have a future as a hairdresser given the nicely spaced out hi-lights that the dog was given. And because he loves shoes and purses…
  • I am an idiot for not taking a real photo before washing the dog.
  • My dog now smells like Palmolive soap – original formulation.


I have not taken the markers out of reach because they are so totally washable, and I just can’t make material like this up so I need to let my 2 year old be the funny one.


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When I was a little girl, all I really ever wanted was a cat or a dog. I think because of my love for all things furry or slimy or in a shell I was just a magnet for anything near death, abused, neglected or lost. Almost every week when I was a child there was a new animal in the house waiting to find it’s rightful owners again (and the odd squirrel or gopher – one of which bit me and I still have the scar). Since I was not allowed to have pets for many unreasonable reasons (allergies, too much work, too small a home or my father being traumatized by the asshole that killed the cat) I was more then happy to take care of them for short periods of time. I would even take animal that I watched hit by cars to the vet, knowing that they would die (since there eyes were out of their heads) but wanting them to be held one more time before they died. 

I loved having these animals for the small amount of time they were with me (even giving most of them names: Bear, Bernie, Puppy and Red) and some are still very strong in my mind as favorites. Often I would spend hours grooming a matted Cocker Spaniel (Red), getting a stubborn and aggressive Saint Bernard (Bernie) to walk on a leash and eat from my hand and cuddling a giant, unloved and under appreciated Samoyed (Puppy) in my little bed.

My parents never worried about me and these strange animals, for some reason I never had a problem getting them to come to me with a wagging tail, bathing them or getting them to sit for a good brushing. Once when I was a teenager,  someone put a dog in my car – I think because they knoew I would take care of it (Puppy the Samoyed). The animals were never assertive or aggressive around me and often were quite protective; maybe because they understood I was just a child trying to help them. In fact the rule was in our house:  I could go ahead and find their owners if I gave them a bath and brushed them out. Dad! and I even caught a salamander (George W) in our old apartment (4th floor how he got there, who knows?) but he died before we could help him.
Now, in our neighborhood there are a TON of dogs. In particular there is one very stubborn, smart and friendly Irish Wolfhound that insists on breaking out of his yard regularly. I have caught this dog MANY times and put him back in his yard, shut the gate and left a note for the owners on the door. This dog is the reason I carry a spare leash in my car with a dogbone. I feel that if BuddyLove ever broke out of our home I would want someone like me to catch her and take care of her until I got her back. So maybe my animal karma is a good thing right? (I may add that Dad is not happy when I catch stray dogs unless it is little Spice that lives up the road, so I only grab the dogs that I have caught before or act very submissive to me).
This week has been a busy one for catching dogs and amphibians. I caught the Wolfhound on Saturday when walking Rito and BuddyLove; this time I didn’t need a leash, he walked beside me to his house. Then on Sunday I nearly hit a Chocolate Lab while on the way for groceries. I hopped out of my car to see the dog and he (his name is Finn) came to me wagging and rolled over for a belly rub – in the middle of the road. What a suck. I got another girl that was walking by with her Greyhound to walk him towards my house (with the lucky leash) since I couldn’t put the strange dog in the car with Rito. Finn hung in the backyard with BuddyLove (after I called the owner and he confirmed Finn loves dogs I put mine out there – carefully with him) and played for a bit until his very grateful and crying owner came.  
Today, my Mom popped in for a visit and when she walked up our driveway she say something that looked like black frozen poo with legs. This thing was a frozen near death Salamander. We didn’t know what it was at first since he was so curled up and black and wrinkled so I scooped him up in a bowl and brought him inside (LoudGranny and I couldn’t let him die). I put HOT water in a lasagna pan, put a bowl in the water, washed  a rock from the garden in HOT water and put the rock in the bowl and then put the dead little guy in there. 
The good news is he warmed up fast and turned Black with green stripes quickly. After an hour I packaged him up and I went to the pet store and talked to the Lizard girl. 
So IggyPop (what I named him) is a Tiger Salamander (which I figured after googling native amphibians online), native to the area that has missed is burrowing season (which I also figured out online) and will die if released to the wild (duh). He can grow to be 13 inches long (normal is 8), he is currently 6 inches head to tail and is estimated to be 2 years old. He is quite friendly and interactive when he is not frozen.

The good news is that they make very friendly good pets and are easy to take care of. The babies are known as Water Puppies and are sold in may stores, but not here since they are native species and can not be sold. I had a choice to let him go in the ravine knowing he would likely die or keep him as a pet indefinitely. I initially chose to keep him as a pet. But, a few girls at the pet store really liked him and one already had some was pets and asked if I really wanted a lizard or if I just felt obligated to keep him, really I just felt obligated since I was in no way prepared for ever getting a lizard and the Mom in me couldn’t release him and watch him die. So now he is going home to an established terrarium with a couple other Salamanders.

There we go. Now that I know more about them after reading online, I kinda wish I kept the little bugger. Easy to take care of, friendly non-biters, and quite interactive seems like a neat little animal to add to the family. Given where we live, I am sure I will someday catch more. 

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My day started at 5:30am, how about you? 

Rito decided 5:30am was a fantastic time to start throwing a party in his crib. Usually if he does get up that early (he is crying most the time) you can coax him back to sleep for a couple hours with a warm glass of milk. Today? Not so much, he woke up in full on chatterbox jumping in the crib mode. I got up, warmed some milk and gave it to him and all I got in return was a not hungry and very much awake toddler. Finally around 7am he zonked out again until 8:15, so at least I got to have a shower before the day started for real. 
We had an appointment to go to the vet with BuddyLove for some shots and an examination. I was a little concerned about her teeth as the back teeth are gathering plaque very quickly even though we brush much more then most dog owners do, so we had her teeth looked at too. The Doctor said her dental problems are very genetic, and that there is not much we can really do to stop them, but there is a concern that her back teeth are taking such a beating before she is even 3 years old. Her front teeth are in beautiful shape but she has a touch of gingivitis which is to be expected with the issue with her back teeth.  Of course you can always get them cleaned, but it is best to put it off as long as possible, because once you start cleaning them you don’t get to stop. 
So for now we are changing her food for a while to see if it helps. BuddyLove is on the best food (we feel) right now but it is not known for keeping a dogs teeth clean. So starting tonight I am phasing in the new food that is known to break down plaque. We have tried this once before but likely did not stick with it long enough, so to keep us on the program I bought a huge bag of dog food to last for hopefully 2 months.  As well, we are changing to a children’s or adults size soft toothbrush (currently use a baby one) and continuing with the LebaLab Leba 3 treatments to help with knocking down the buildup. We also got a new bottle of shampoo (mmm Canadian Vet Medicated Shampoo, makes her smell SO nice) and ear cleaner. 
On the good side, she is doing a great job emptying her anal glands (yay! so I don’t have to, it is such a gross, messy and stinky job) and has lost the couple pounds she had gained when Rito started feeding himself and throwing her food (she was over 27 pounds at one point now she is a slightly overweight 25.2pounds which is OK with the Doctor). I have worked hard the last week to slim her down because I was anticipating a lecture from the Vet about her chunk. The only thing worse then a Vet complaining about you fat dog is your own Doctor complaining about your fat.
On the way home we (Rito and I) stopped at Taco Del Mar and shared a chicken taco with rice and beans. Rito loved the rice and beans. I never knew that until today, so he will be getting rice and beans more often. 
When we got home, Rito tripped on the garage stairs but seemed fine and kept going with no complaints. So, imagine my surprise when I saw BLOOD all over my linoleum. Little peanut cracked his lip a bit, but it seems fine now. Just shocked Mamamama (bonus though, he was really cuddly for an hour while we watched a little Finding Nemo and ate a snack and he is NEVER cuddly) to see her child’s blood on the floor, and a lot of it too. I guess it always looks worse then it is.
Later, when I was peeing he went to his room and found his Bath and BodyWorks Rootbeer kids lotion and squirted it on his pillow. At least it smells great in there now. Oy.
Now Rito is napping and I have finished cleaning the basement so that the playroom can be moved down there once the painter gets his royal ass to my house and paints the room. I can not wait to reclaim a little of our main floor from the evil triad of Fisher Price, Little Tykes and Leap Frog
Maybe this afternoon we will go to a fish store and look at fish. Rito just loves them when we go to the mall, and I think he would get a kick out of them at the fish store. Maybe when he is a bit bigger we will get him a fish for his room. You know, like at that age where he doesn’t try to drink from the fishbowl or eat the fish? 

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Rito didn’t get up until 8:15am. Leaving a happy perky Mamamama to chase him around. Alas, with all that sleep I have an obscenely perky and spirited Rito to chase around.

The price you pay: 
  • Rito has learned to open drawers today, so my pots and pans are always clanking about. 
  • Today Rito wanted to play with this treehouse toy and I keep all the extra little animals in a cheap “purse” so they stay contained and accounted for. So now he is walking around our house carrying a purse and talking like a little old lady. Should I be concerned? 😉 
  • The temper tantrums OH MY GOD! All I have to say is Linda at Purple is a Fruit summed it up perfectly today. Her little Riley and my Rito seem to be cut from the same cloth some days. 
  • Two days in a row now Rito has decided not to eat breakfast, which ends up making him cranky because he is hungry but he won’t eat. It is a vicious cycle I tell you! I endured a temper tantrum over who the heck knows what at breakfast time… I think it was because I wouldn’t let him stand on the kitchen table or drink my coffee. All I need is a toddler on caffeine. Dear god, could you imagine? Oy.
  • Currently Rito is chasing BuddyLove around with a decapitated snowman toy. This is the only reason I am able to update the blog before naptime
And I must say minus the temper tantrum this morning, today has been a great day with my little guy. Now if I just could get him to eat something. 

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So much has changed with LittleMan lately, I don’t even know where to begin. 

He has a few words now, the most amusing being Dad! (yup said with the exclamation point), so Dadadadada will now be known as Dad! on this blog since that is what LittleMan call him now. 
Buddylove and LittleMan are still best buds, but with LittleMan getting bigger, he is also rougher and soon will outweigh BuddyLove. BuddyLove has been growling at him a little now when he gets too rough, which annoys me but LittleMan gets the idea and backs off.

Recently (in the last week) he has become Master of the Stairs (in BOTH directions); Dad! discovered this at Grams house while visiting last week, her stairs are closed in so I think he felt a little safer going up and down them (ours are wide open and a little intimidating). He has morphed this impressive skill into something we call the slide, which to him is much more efficient;  instead of crawling backwards like any normal baby, he skootches over to the left side and slides down backwards. Although this is cute, he sometimes loses his balance and will probably tumble down the stairs any time now. 
My Mom (LoudGranny) recently had surgery and I spent time there last week helping her home from the hospital and staying a night to make sure everything was OK. She is doing good now, just a little slow still and she can’t pick up LittleMan which totally breaks her heart. We have gone shopping since her surgery, and it is a SLOW process since we need to stop for breaks all the time.
LittleMan has been sleeping like crap again lately, damn bastard tooth. Enough said. 
Preparations are underway for the First Birthday Blowout…… but the party and all the issues (not many really) are enough for a whole other blog post.

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Dearest LittleMan,

You are just over 11 months old now, and I have to admit you are officially a Toddler.

Sure you don’t attempt to walk with any regularity, but you are as strong as an Ox and you can pitch little temper-tantrums like a seasoned pro. So far, you have not pitched any fits when we go out (knock on wood), you tend to only get mad when Mamamama won’t let you crawl up the stairs or play with Dadadadada’s stereo.

You are getting to be a rough and tumble little boy, you are never alarmed when you hurt yourself, and only cry when your pride is injured. This week, you have learned how to crawl on top of the coffee table and sit there to play with toys. You only seem to do this when Mamamama leaves the room to go pee. You are starting to manhandle BuddyLove, when sitting at the window she barks at the cars going by and you go “ooo ooo ooo” and then grab her collar and pull her down from the window like she is in your way. You now give her full frontal hugs and roll with her on the floor. Lately, you are most amused when she is playing fetch; you giggle endlessly at her antics. I can not wait to watch you and the dog grow up together. Someday, she will spend the night snoring in YOUR room.

Yesterday you finally learned how to go both ways on the stairs, now the problem is you never just go strait up them, you go up two then down two, up two the down two. Normally this wouldn’t be a problem, but since we do need to get upstairs to change your diaper I need to pick you up and that starts a tantrum; which is never pretty but is thankfully short.

Love You More than Chocolate,

P.S. I know you like to play with doors now, but can you PLEASE stop locking Mamamamama in the pantry?

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Dearest LittleMan,

Mommy would like to commend you on your excellent efforts towards household peace by sleeping in this morning. Finally I got to relax until 7:15am! I feel like I won the lottery or something, which means YOU won the Mommy lottery, I am oh so FRESH, and AWAKE, and ready to CHASE YOU AROUND!!!!! I am also impressed how you fell back asleep at 5am after you woke for a little feeding (which I understand concidering you threw up your dinner at bedtime, so your little tummy must have been pretty empty).

Right now you are in your crib, sleeping. I really love your 2 hour morning naps, they make our day quite nice, you get to sleep and Mommy gets a shower and some cleaning done. It is a great trade-off. I am sorry the stoopid window guy woke you up yesterday 30 minute into your nap, making you a cranky little peanut for the rest of the day.

When Daddy brings my car home we will go for groceries and maybe to Lululemon to get Mommy a pair of crop pants, I think I deserve a treat (1/2 way to losing the baby weight) and I wanted them for a while now. We will be missing out on the picnic with Mom group today since you have been coughing a little, I just want to keep you inside for a day or two until the cough dies down a bit. Daddy is also getting us AIR CONDITIONING today, which means we can truly enjoy the heat this summer knowing we can escape to our nice cool home. Trust me, you will appreciate it!

You are the greatest little man ever.

Love you more than chocolate,

P.S. BuddyLove thinks you are great and I know you love love love her, but she doesn’t like being choked by your chubbly little arms each morning. She is just too sweet to tell you herself. She prefers hugs, kisses, petting and CHEERIOS!!!!

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