Note: I like older people, I work with a lot of elderly, my grandparents are OLD and I adore them. I am not a ageist, but this guy pissed me off.
Almost two weeks ago one of my Mom friends and I went to IKEA with our kids for $1 breakfast. Now I think that everyone who has been to an IKEA can agree that IKEA is a pretty damn family friendly place. Hell, cheap breakfast alone is totally worth it (and if the kid won’t eat you really are not losing out on much $$$ at all) and the store has TONS of areas to play in, stroller carts, free diapers, nursing rooms and an indoor play-yard. If this doesn’t SCREAM “bring your children’ I don’t know what does.
In the restaurant area (I use the term restaurant loosely it is really more like a cafeteria) there is an area for children to play in with tables around the outside of it so you can watch your children. This is where Melanie and I sat watching her twin boys and my Dictator. The boys were all being so damn good; staying in the play area, sharing, not screaming and checking in with us every couple minutes for a bite of their breakfasts. On the other side of the play area this older man ((about 60-65) and his frumpy wife were eating their breakfast and playing with a cheap ass digital camera. This man kept looking at us with a dirty look over and over. Whatever.
So I go to get a coffee and when I come back our kids are sitting at the kiddie table in the play area with a bead toy, playing nicely. And this asshole looks at our kids and tells them to “go away kids” (he was at least 10 feet away from them) and sitting beside the play area at the other end, and it wasn’t nice or joking either.
Me: Excuse me, do you have a problem?
Him: Take your kids home
Me: What for? They are being good! Playing in the KIDS area!
Him: Children belong at home, not in public.
Me: Are they bothering you directly or something?
Him: Yes because kids should not be out in public. Neither should pregnant women.
Me: Well SIR, this is a KIDS PLAY AREA, and you are more then welcome to sit anywhere in the other 500 seats here that are NOT beside the KIDS PLAY AREA.
Him: I can sit where I want.
Me: Then deal with it buddy. Maybe your wife should take your cranky but home. I am sure she is proud of being seen with YOU in public. But she looks like a real prize too so I am sure you are well suited.
That shut him up. But seriously, I really wanted to unleash the bitch that Is Sleepynita. Pregnant or not there are a ton of things I wanted to say to this asshole of a man. In a perfect world these would have come out of my mouth as well (meaning my kid wouldn’t be around and I could swear, or that there wasn’t another nice older couple there I would offend – this other older couple actually apoligized for captain asshole’s behaviour):
Wish I said: Why don’t you just die already and quit draining my health-care system?
Wish I said: I am sorry but are the children ruining your fancy breakfast out? ($1 hahaha)
Wish I said: Enjoy your breakfast that my taxes are paying for, and enjoy the government pension I am paying for that I will never collect.
Wish I said: I can’t believe that out of 100,000 sperm you were the quickest.
Wish I said: You are a fantastic example of why some animals eat their young.
Wish I said: Go flap your bingo wings elsewhere.
Bingo Wings. Now you know.