Tonight Stewart is working a presentation for a work related “course” where he needs to teach a simple skill to a class. You think that would be easy, no?
Well Stewart can’t really do anything simple. The man can do almost anything complicated and could teach a course on how to buy a television for a week, but a simple everyday skill? Ha!
Stewart decided to learn how to sew a button on. And needed yours truly to teach him so he could teach others. How hard could it be?
Freaking easy right? I mean I have been sewing since I was 10 years old when my dad bought me my first sewing machine for my birthday (I wanted a Flute dammit) and can sew a button back on a shirt in under a minute. This should have been easy to do.
Instead we were this close to divorce court.
First Stewart has big clumsy man-hands. Trying to get him to even tie a knot in the thread was a challenge. I had to explain it to him (come on it is a knot – tie the bugger already) step by step (ummm make a knot – yeah). Then, I had to give him the needles with the big moron holes at the top so he could get the thread through.
Now the tough part is done right? Um -NO.
Stewart decided to consult Google for more technique and answers. All I have to say is: there are many ways to skin a cat. Then he started second guessing himself and me. Ugh. What a pain in the ass.
Now the bigger problem is he:
- has to make the presentation
- teach it to a group of men (hahahaha oh dear I would piss myself watching this one)
- create a government-style bullshit document to supplement the presentation with student notes and instructor notes
- learn how to double knot the damn piece of thread
- thread the needle confidently in front of a class of guys
At least he can sew the button on (two different ways) really well. He is now lubricated with cheap Champagne and typing at the speed of light beside me.