Stop talking to my tits. Mmmmkthanksbye!

After my interview from Sheila, I received a couple emails asking me about my breast reduction surgery which I touched on very very briefly in the interview. Two emails were from women who desired to have this same procedure done, one from a woman who wanted to know how I came to such a decision and two more (from a woman and a man) who basically pissed on me for having the nerve to cut off my boobs and called me vain and lazy. Trust me. If you saw the size of my ass you would not think I am vain. I figured now was as good of a time as any to address this issue and some common boob myths.

I have been large chested since I was 15 years old, maybe even younger. I swear one day in 9th grade I woke up and realized that doing laps in Gym class was going to be a real painful experience. And it was.  By the time I graduated High School I was 115 pounds and should have been wearing a DD bra (but I totally squished myself into C/D cups).

This leads me to Myth #1: Boobs are large because you are fat. Not so. 115bs and 5′4″ tall wearing a size 4 is not fat. My boobs though were really big.

For a couple of years I buggered around doing odd jobs trying to decide what I wanted from my life. At one company in particular I was repeatedly hassled by a white-trash poorly dressed head cashier and a dumb ass store manager about the size of my chest. Although I always dressed professionally (as in suits, dress pants or dresses) the fact is when you are in an E cup bra there is no hiding them puppies. The assholes thought that I should go to a men’s store and buy a sport jacket to wear over my suits and company supplied shirts so no one would see how large my breasts were.

I finally threatened them with harassment charges for hassling me about my breasts - and was promptly transferred to another store (where I started dating Stewart). The manager at the new store had heard of my problems with the previous store (the other manger who transferred me had implied I was a slut to the new boss - because you know girls with big boobs are easy right? ugh.) and dealt with it head on. He had no problem with my chest size and also stated I was more then appropriately dressed to work in his store and that the other guy was lucky I never pressed charges.

Here is Myth #2: Women with big breasts enjoy the attention. Most naturally large chested women I know go through great pains to minimize the appearance of their breasts and we all hate it when people stare at our chests while talking to us. It is embarrassing and awkward. 

My first year at post-secondary school should have been exciting and rewarding. I chose a field where women did not traditionally work (Electronic Engineering) because I loved that kind of stuff. A week into my program I was approached by one of my instructor’s and told that I was lucky I was cute and had a large chest because it would ensure I passed the program and find a job in the field. That just about sealed it for me. I spent a day in tears and then marched my ass to my family Doctor for a referral to a Plastic Surgeon. My Doctor said he had wondered for a few years why I hadn’t asked to have the surgery done.

Want Myth #3? Women with large chests are air-heads or dumb. I applied to post secondary school with a 98% in Physics, a 95% in Math and a 90% in English. When I graduated I was within 2% of the top of my class over all (technically in the top 3 people), was the ONLY person to get over an 80% in every class offered in our program and scored a perfect grade in 3rd year University calculus. I am not dumb. Neither are 99% of the people with large boobs. The sweet payback is that I ended up making $30,000 a year more then that instructor.

Finally Myth #4: Women who have breast reductions do it for vanity reasons. Ab-so-fucking-lutely that was 40% of the draw for me.

The other 60%? I had x-rays showing the bones in my shoulder compressing from the weight of my bras. Migraine headaches were a daily battle. The back pain was never ending. I was spending 200$ on a single bra because my personal boob alphabet was approaching J-K-L. Fun letters I tell you! I never owned a shirt with buttons and bought shirts at the plus size store (and had them altered smaller) because they covered my chest. Regular shirts were never long enough because the size of my boobs would totally alter the length of the shirt, leaving it creeping up my front. I could NOT find a bathing suit to properly fit them into unless I wanted to look like a porn star. Finally, I was sick of people not knowing my name and being referred to as “the one with the big tits”.

It is a decision I never regretted and I would do it again in a second. It improved my physical health, my confidence and probably improved the way that people (who do not know me) look at me. I no longer fall under the “big boobs = stupid” umbrella and can buy different clothing. Best 12 pounds I ever got rid of.