The Great Interview Experiment.

A Couple weeks ago I decided to participate in Neil’s The Great Interview Experiment at Citizen of the Month. I thought it was a neat way to read new blogs that I may have never found on my own. Sheila at Peddling Fast and Trying to Keep Up had the honor of interviewing me, and I in turn will be interviewing Mocha Momma very soon.

OK, I have to ask… for starters, Why do you blog?

I blog mostly as a way to vent my frustrations with the world, being a parent and to poke some fun at myself. Sometimes, I use it as a subtle way to communicate with Stewart. I also really suck at keeping a baby book, and still haven’t scrap-booked the first year of my son’s life so instead I write him little letters every couple months on my blog.

When did you start and how often to you update?

I officially started December 2006. I updated sporadically at first but now I try to update 2 or 3 times a week so I can keep the 80 unique hits a day I receive. I know, stats like that will NEVER get me into the cool bloggers club. Although I would like it if people commented more often, even if it was just to tell me I am off my nut!

With 3 people in the home, you feel you have lots of loads of laundry?

My goodness! It seems like it just never ends. Just when I think I am done the last load, I go upstairs and Stewart and The Dictator have burnt through more outfits. Well, that or the dog has puked on something that needs immediate washing (because my goodness the stench!). Or it is time to wash the bedding. Oh, or there is the never ending pile of neglected ironing to tend to.

If you have any tips and tricks with a bazillion kids in your house, let me know!

You are pretty open in your thoughts and the things that you post. Are there things you would not write about in the forum of your blog?

I am pretty open with what I write, mostly because that is what I am like in real life too. I am sure DogMama will chime in on the comments section to back me up on this one. Being somewhat anonymous online does bring you a bit of backbone to write what you want but that only goes so far.

There are a few things I do avoid writing about online though. I would never write about the day to day activities with my son before they happen (there are a lot of crazies out there you know? I don’t want one finding me or my son) or the nitty gritty details of my sex life. The other thing I avoid is writing in a way that would give anyone a bad image of Stewart. Sure the man drives me mad some days, but to write about the shit that blows over day to day I just don’t do. Now I may do some subtle whining about him for the sake of communication…..

You say you like to shop, are we talking things for your home, clothes, accessories or just all those sylin’ outfits for the Dictator? What do you like to shop for most?

I would have to say those all sound like good excuses to go shopping. I like shopping for clothes the most, but shopping for boys and men’s clothing totally tops my list. Having Stewart and The Dictator to dress is a lot of fun, (especially the 18 month old because his opinions don’t count yet so I get away with anything).

I loved reading about the Dictator. I can tell he is the love of your life and has brought out the best in you. Do you plan to have more children?

We never planned on having more then one child. But. That being said, we are “throwing caution to the wind” and letting whatever happens… happen.

I was an only child and once I got over that phase of trying to pay my parents to make me a brother at the age of 8, I have to say being an only kid was great. Stewart has a younger brother but they are four years apart and so very different from each other that their relationship is strained at times. So although I am not entirely convinced that kids have to come in multiples, I am willing to try something different then what I was raised in. Another year of maternity leave off work would be nice too.

Has his temper improved?

I think my son is a typical pre-two year old boy, the more I watch other kids in public the more I realize I have a pretty mild mannered little boy. There are days that he does get the best of me and I end up crying in frustration and convincing myself that tomorrow will be a better day for both of us. Other days I realize that he is his fathers son and has his fathers short temper. They both are rather passionate about a lot of things.

I love how you write notes to him, will you publish a book of these notes and thoughts for him to read later in life?

Absolutely. I am deciding if they should be handwritten and put them in a scrapbook for him or should just print them up with a few photos to go with each letter.

You’ve been with Stewart for so long. It sounds like the two of you have a great thing going – Where did the two of you meet?

Wow this question could be a full blog post alone.

Stewart and I both met while working at an electronics store. He was a fresh out of University guy and I was a going nowhere fast cashier. Anyways. I saw this guy standing around wearing an outfit only he could wear. It was a salmon colored suit jacket with black and white glen plaid pants a blue shirt and a flowery tie. Somehow it looked good. Or I was desperate. Whatever. When he walked by me and smelled SO GOOD and I was hooked. The next week it was casual week and he wore jeans (that totally showed off his butt) and a white golf shirt. I never knew the boy had arms and a six pack. So hot.

What finally sealed the deal was a few weeks later he came into work to buy a computer. I knew he lived on his own, but he had parked a stellar car in front of the store and then wrote a cheque to pay for the computer with no sweating whatsoever (remember we were like 20 years old at the time). I figured this boy had it going on; a nice car, his own place, cash for a new computer (5,000$ at the time), smelled good, great clothing and a hot bod.

False advertising. Mostly.

He had moved home, was driving his brothers car, had a loan for the computer (was building up a credit rating after going to university) and had someone at a clothing store to help him buy his clothing. The bod was still hot and he smelled good so 5 months later when we both had transferred stores and met up again we started dating - after I ditched my ex, and he left his girlfriend at the time.

12 years later together we both have gone to school, got great jobs, bought a home, dealt with a devastating death in the family, traveled, got the worlds best dog and had our son. I think we have been pretty productive considering some people thought we would last 2 weeks.

And you knew this was coming…Any marriage plans in the future or do you feel things are good so why mess with them?

Right now, why mess with it? That and I should be banned from having a real wedding because I would be a total Bridezilla. It is just the way I am. I would control every detail and bitch the whole time about it. So not fun. Vegas was invented for people like me.

I like to think that we are pretty unconventional when it comes to all that kind of stuff, and since I like to buck tradition, why bother with getting married? I do think Stewart owes me something big and shiny to wear on my finger though, more for the fact that I am kind of sick of people looking at my hand when they see me out with my son and giving me the “poor single Mom” bullshit look (mostly old ladies) when they see nothing on my finger. That really bugs me.

Upon first going to your site, I saw the picture that you posted on Valentines Day of you with your parents. I immediately thought what beautiful people. You have got great genes, girl! You say you inherited the need to shop from your mom, what other qualities of hers have influenced your life?

My Mom is pretty open and easy going and lacks the filter on things she says. She is also loud and opinionated but listens and usually has good advice when you need it. My Mom can really take things and see two or three sides to everything and tries to make others understand a situation isn’t always one sided. She also has a soft spot for animals, even though she tries to hide it. I think it comes from growing up dirt poor on a farm and watching pets get shot once they became sick, hurt or old. I am so much like her in those ways. I am also like her in the way that we hold a lot of things in a stress over them quietly to the point of making ourselves sick. I am not so fond of that one.

The death of your dad, at his & yours and your moms, young age, obviously had an impact on your life. I read all that you wrote of him, and truly understand what a loss this was. Heartbreaking.
What are the things about him that you have inherited or incorporated in your own life?
In what ways are you like him?

My Dad was a very very patient person. It would take a lot to truly piss him off, but when he had his quota of being pissed off and finally snapped you’d better hope your ass was in a different time zone. Yup, that is me!

His biggest weak spot was kids. I think it came from him being abused, hungry and neglected as a child. He was always playful, fair and generous to children; family or not. I spent my childhood having my father as my coach for sports, he was the parent who always showed up at school meetings and the one who really dealt out the discipline when I was out of line. Even when our family was going through tough times financially he always found a way to get great gifts for everyone, and had a couple hundred dollars put to the side to buy something for really needy children. I remember one time when I was small he stopped and gave a homeless lady his lunch and hot coffee that we had in the car, just because she needed it more then we did. I like to do things like that when I can.

If I’m not mistaken, you study sleep disorders…What brought you to this line of work?

You could say that I fell into it.

When I went back to school I decided to again go against the grain and go into a male dominated program. I choose Biomedical Engineering which is a medical electronics specialty. I did very well in the program (scholarships are good, so I learned) and graduated in the top 3 in my class.

Unfortunately a few things were going against me in that particular field. One; I was a woman and it is a total boys club here. Two; there really was not much well paying work available (at least until the baby boomers start to retire).

When the location I work at posted a casual position I applied for it (I was working at the power company at the time) and decided it would help keep my foot in the door to watch for other positions. A week later I was offered a permanent position, and then a few months later full time. After 18 months I wrote my Polysomnography exams in Seattle, Washington. I passed them, got a good raise and really don’t see doing anything else for work. It is a great job and I am lucky to have it.

This is not a question, but I think you should post a picture of your VW Bug – my kids do the punch bug thing with me all the time – and a double whammy if it’s a yellow one.

I have never actually taken a good photo of my car. Strange considering how much I love it. I gotta get on that one! No double whammies here though, it is green.

Your dog is very cute. What kind is he?
I love how you love animals and always have.

Paprika is a West Highland White Terrier. We got her as “defective” stock from a breeder in the area. If you ask me the people who returned her are defective, she is the most lovely little dog ever. A bit of a barker, but still wonderful.

If I were to come visit you, what would we do for fun what sights we would see?

I live in HickvilleCity, Alberta Canada. Care to see some oil wells and dually trucks blowing diesel stink in your face? Everyone seems to drive a truck or huge SUV here.

We do have the largest shopping mall in North America ( The Mall of America isn’t that big, sorry to the Americans who really thought it was) and it is the world’s largest combined entertainment and shopping center which not a good thing for the shopping addicted.

We could also use the river valley which has a parks system that is larger then Central Park in NYC. It really is impressive, even though our family does not use it at all. In the summer there is always a festival of some kind happening (Fringe Theater, Street Performers, Jazz City, Folk Fest and The Taste of HickvilleCity to name a few) not a day goes by without some huge production going on when the weather is nice. I guess that is what happens when you live in the cold 7 months of the year, you pack a year of stuff into 4 months.

If you could talk to your 20 year old self, what are a few things you would say?

Dear 20 year old self,

That guy you are dating? When he is 31 he will still be living in his parents basement. Time to upgrade girl. The best friend you have? She is a a spoiled slut who only sleeps with older men who pay her way in life, soon you will figure that out and ditch her. The “fat” on your stomach? Yeah, you don’t know fat wait a few years, enjoy wearing clothing sizes with single digits. Go back to school, now. Run there, don’t wait another 5 years; do it now. You will be so much further ahead in life if you got a 5 year head start. How about leaving for work 10 minutes earlier on December 2, 1998? Your life will be so much easier and you will not wake up in pain every day for the rest of your life. Shopping is just an emotional band-aid for how shitty you feel about something. Deal with the emotions, don’t try to shop them away. Throw out your “fat” clothes so that you quit growing back into them, it is just too easy to do. Enjoy this time with your parents, they are all of a sudden very smart and you are getting to know them as people quite well. Enjoy it as much as you can because your Dad won’t be here much longer and it is going to devastate you. You Mom will be your best friend someday, you do not believe me now but you will see. The cute guy at work? Go out with him (but take your visa, his will get declined on your first “date” even though it will NEVER get declined again) and hold tight while he deals with the ex-girlfriend drama. Quit second guessing your desire to have a breast reduction, do it now don’t wait until 2001. Most of all, don’t try to be anyone but you.

What’s one thing people might be surprised to learn about you?

I am a big sap and cry when I am away from my son more then 12 hours. I clean house when I am pissed off about something. I love to watch The Backyardigans with my boy, it is a really good kids show. I can not stand to see a photo of a hurt animal (I was a wreck when they were showing pictures of Micheal Vic’s Pit Bulls on TV). I really want a tattoo, but Stewart is not so keen on the idea. I have a total crush on Ben Stiller circa Zoolander (not the old guy version he is turning into now).

Thank you so much for this opportunity. What a fun way this has been for me to peek into the life of someone new such as yourself! It’s been a pleasure!

Sincerely,
Sheila
Pedaling Fast